Rethinking Taxes, Welfare, and Civilization’s Monthly Subscription Fee
Imagine if doing your taxes took less time than heating up a Hot Pocket. No more 1040 forms. No more deductions for that one dependent who’s technically your cat. No more “tax season.” Just one simple line on your paycheck:
“18% for Civilization.”
Now imagine everyone — rich, poor, barista, billionaire — also gets $1,000 a month, tax-free, because society decided that existing in it should come with a baseline income and not just existential dread.
Welcome to the Flat Tax + UBI universe — where spreadsheets meet social contracts, and the IRS has been replaced by an app called “Civ.”
The Setup: The Flat Tax That’s Actually Flat
Here’s the idea in its simplest form:
Everyone pays 18% of their income, no loopholes, no deductions, no exceptions.
Everyone also receives a Universal Basic Income (UBI) — a guaranteed monthly payment, no strings attached, no means testing, no paperwork.
That’s it. Two numbers. Infinite arguments.
The Math (Promise: It’s Painless)
Let’s assume:
UBI = $1,000 per month per adult → $12,000 a year.
There are roughly 250 million adults in the U.S. → that’s $3 trillion annually in UBI payouts.
Total personal income = ~$18 trillion.
Flat Tax Rate = 18%.
That generates $3.24 trillion in federal revenue.
Subtract the $3 trillion cost of UBI… and you’ve got $240 billion left to run the rest of the government — defense, infrastructure, national parks, and the occasional NASA mission that makes us feel better about being hairless apes with telescopes.
But Wait — We Can Free Up Trillions
Here’s the trick that makes this actually viable:
The UBI replaces a big chunk of existing welfare programs that do the same job badly and expensively. Roughly speaking, if you merge or eliminate overlapping programs like:
SNAP (food assistance)
TANF (cash welfare)
EITC (earned income tax credit)
Child tax credit
Housing assistance programs
Supplemental security programs (for non-disabled adults)
You could save $1–1.5 trillion annually in administrative and program costs. Between that and the new flat tax, the math begins to balance. You still need smart budget discipline (and maybe a few less aircraft carriers), but you’ve built a leaner, simpler, fairer model.
Why It Works (Economically Speaking)
The Poor Don’t Get Poorer.
Someone earning $20,000 a year would pay $3,600 in tax but receive $12,000 from the UBI.
Net gain: +$8,400.
For low-income earners, this acts as both safety net and launch pad.
The Middle Class Stays Stable.
Earning $60,000 → pays $10,800 → gets $12,000.
Net: +$1,200.
They’re finally not punished for doing slightly better.
The Rich Still Pay the Most.
Earning $1 million → pays $180,000 → gets $12,000.
Net: –$168,000.
Jeff Bezos still buys the yacht. Civilization continues.
It’s progressive in effect, even if it’s flat in structure.
Why It Works (Philosophically Speaking)
The genius of this model isn’t in the math — it’s in the tone. It treats every citizen as an adult. You don’t have to prove you’re poor, justify your life choices, or navigate 18 agencies to get a hand up.
You just get the check.
No stigma, no bureaucracy, no thirty-page PDFs with bold red text that says “INCOMPLETE. It reframes government from punitive to participatory. You pay in because you benefit. You receive because you exist.
A circle, not a hierarchy.
It’s elegant. It’s efficient. It’s just crazy enough to make both economists and philosophers smile nervously.
The “But Wait, What About Inflation?” Section
Good question. Every UBI proposal runs into the “Won’t prices just rise?” concern.
Short answer: not as much as people think.
Most inflation comes from supply constraints and corporate pricing power, not just from people having more money. And if you replace existing welfare and streamline tax administration, you’re not actually adding new money — you’re redistributing existing flows more efficiently. (Also, it’s worth noting that the government literally created $4.6 trillion in new money during the pandemic — and the economy didn’t disintegrate. It got messy, but not apocalyptic.)
The Simplicity Dividend
By replacing the labyrinth of tax credits, phase-outs, subsidies, and deductions with a single universal mechanism, you get:
Lower administrative costs.
Higher participation (because everyone participates).
Fewer political games about who “deserves” help.
More time for people to, you know, live.
Think of it as a subscription model for civilization. Everyone pays 18%. Everyone gets access. No hidden fees. No fine print.
Cancel anytime (but we recommend you don’t).
The Hitchhiker’s Guide Addendum
If Douglas Adams had written about fiscal policy, it might’ve gone like this:
“The universe is large, life is confusing, and taxes are absurd. But if you must fund the absurdity, at least let everyone have a towel and twelve grand a year.”
It’s not socialism.
It’s not capitalism.
It’s common sense with cosmic flair.
In Other Words:
A flat tax with a universal basic income doesn’t promise utopia — just a saner user experience for civilization. And if that means never filing taxes again, never begging a bureaucracy for help, and never explaining to the IRS why your goldfish counts as a dependent…
Well then, maybe 18% isn’t such a bad price for civilization after all.
